1 Samuel 1:4-20 On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters; but to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb. Her rival used to provoke her severely, to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. So it went on year by year; as often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. Her husband Elkanah said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? Why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?” After they had eaten and drunk at Shiloh, Hannah rose and presented herself before the Lord. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord. She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord, and wept bitterly. She made this vow: “O Lordof hosts, if only you will look on the misery of your servant, and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a male child, then I will set him before you as a nazirite until the day of his death. He shall drink neither wine nor intoxicants, and no razor shall touch his head.” As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying silently; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard; therefore Eli thought she was drunk. So Eli said to her,“How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? Put away your wine.” But Hannah answered,“No, my lord, I am a woman deeply troubled; I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation all this time.” Then Eli answered, “Go in peace; the God of Israel grant the petition you have made to him.” And she said, “Let your servant find favor in your sight.” Then the woman went to her quarters, ate and drank with her husband, and her countenance was sad no longer. They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord; then they went back to their house at Ramah. Elkanah knew his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. In due time Hannah conceived and bore a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, “I have asked him of the Lord.”
1 Samuel 2:1-10 Hannah prayed and said, “My heart exults in the Lord; my strength is exalted in my God. My mouth derides my enemies, because I rejoice in my victory.“There is no Holy One like the Lord, no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God. Talk no more so very proudly, let not arrogance come from your mouth; for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by the Lord actions are weighed. The bows of the mighty are broken, but the feeble gird on strength. Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread, but those who were hungry are fat with spoil. The barren has borne seven, but she who has many children is forlorn. The Lord kills and brings to life; God brings down to Sheol and raises up. The Lordmakes poor and makes rich; God brings low, God also exalts. God raises up the poor from the dust; God lifts the needy from the ash heap, to make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor. For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, and on them God has set the world. “God will guard the feet of God's faithful ones, but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness; for not by might does one prevail. The Lord! God's adversaries shall be shattered; the Most High will thunder in heaven. TheLord will judge the ends of the earth; God will give strength to God's king, and exalt the power of God's anointed.”
************************************************* It is easy to relate to Hannah because she is one of those people who lives with a label. Hannah was labeled "barren." Despite anything else she may have done in her life, in her society, barren, meant she was worthless- her glass pane was void of color, of shape, no light filtered through... she was without value. Hannah was married to Elkanah. For short, let's call him Kenny. Kenny had 2 wives, Hannah and Peninnah- let's call her Penny. Penny, as it turned out was a childbearing machine. She could pop out kids almost at will, some of which were male, which increased Penny's worth/value. Most of us, thankfully, don't know what it's like to share a spouse, but Hannah and Penny became rivals. Penny continually provokes Hannah, "to irritate her- because her womb is closed.” Translated from the Hebrew it reads like this: "She vexed her rival of her moreover vexation in order to dishearten her"... or... "she provoked her until she was sore"... until it hurt... Penny antagonized Hannah intending to break her spirit...to make her lose hope. … cruel isn't it? And I imagine it wouldn't even have to have been a verbal "poking"... it could have been as easy as Penny walking past Hannah in the kitchen every morning with her little ones in tow, shooting Hannah a look with a sympathetic,' too bad you don't have any children, smile…. Put the glass down Hannah, no call for you, don’t even waste your energy'... Have you ever had a Penny in your life? Who has 'provoked you sore'- Who has something you want so desperately that even the sight of them makes you feel less than? You try to take the high road, but everytime they poke, that hurt is a fresh slap in the face, and you find yourself on your knees- help me God… I know you have a call for me… please, send light… Now, the text doesn't say why Penny was so cruel. It does tell us that their husband, Kenny doted on Hannah. Hannah always got that extra portion of everything Kenny brought home. What's with that? Weren't Penny and her brood of kids enough for him? Hadn’t she done what she was supposed to do- she had children, yet that Hannah was the one who had won their husbands affection- Hannah was given special treatment. So, maybe Penny played the only hand she saw. Maybe childbearing was the one place where Penny outshined Hannah; she makes herself feel better by flaunting what she did have in front of her rival. All bullying stems from insecurity after all.But I don’t believe Penny was the only one making Hannah feel 'less than'. Her well-meaning husband Kenny seems like a nice enough guy. He pays special attention to Hannah, and gives her extra gifts, "because he loved her," the text reminds us. I believe that; but if we look closely at his behavior, we can see how Kenny's actions may have given Hannah mixed messages. While the hope was that, the 'extra' would build her up, physically and emotionally, I can imagine that year after year of hearing..."Here darling Hannah... take the extra portion... you need this... sorry you can't have children... that God closed your womb… don’t feel bad, you can’t help that there’s something wrong with you… Besides, you have me.... aren't I worth 10 sons? I love you Hannah, honey..." Anyone ever had a Kenny in your life? This is tough because, Kenny truly wants the best for us... Kenny, we want to please... but no matter how hard we try, we know we are more tolerated than accepted as we are. And the more they try to make it better for us, the more we feel like a disappointment. We can't live up to what Kenny wants from us, because it is just not in us... we think, "I know Kenny loves me, but why is it that when he is around, I feel like I am getting kicked in the stomach?" And for fun, let's flip that question around as well- Who have you been Kenny to in your life? Who do you have hopes for, the best feelings for; you want them to succeed... but in your attempt to make them feel better about missing the mark, they get a message that they are not acceptable as they are. The messages we intend to send are not always the ones being received- despite our best intentions, we can unknowingly kick Hannah in the stomach. By the time she’s old, Hannah has had it with being poked by Penny and kicked by Kenny and she grabs her pane of glass and goes to the temple. And weeping bitterly, she sinks on the side of a pillar and begins to pray... weeping bitterly... You know this prayer- or at least I hope you do... when you are angry and frustrated and hurt- you've been stomped on and made fun of and placated to death and you have nowhere to turn but to the one who you believe called you to this crazy thing in the first place. Every emotion in your body surfacing, you're crying and rocking and praying and reach the point where lips are moving but no sound is coming out. Some pain deep for words. Enter Old Eli- the priest sitting in the wings watching Hannah thinks she’s drunk. "Lady, you’re making a spectacle of yourself. Stop drinking and go home!" Is/was there an Eli in your life? One who has misinterpreted your actions- even when they are at their most sincere? Who because of how you pray, or believe, or look, or identify, challenges the path you are on? Questions your motives, or your morality? And while we're here, let's flip it. Have you been an Eli? Quick to judge instead of looking deeper? Or worse, seeking to exclude based on appearance, or behavior.Over the years the church has done a great Eli impersonation... not just with individuals, but with whole people groups. What are you drunk? You’re creating a spectacle, Go home! Maybe Hannah thought about it… just going home (and possibly drinking). But instead, she stays where she is at the base of that pillar…. And she opens her eyes and sees the glass pane in front of her. Maybe it’s the first time in a while that she’s really looked at it. And maybe it’s her tears blurring and mixing and coloring the pane… she blinks and looks again… it’s not blank, not shapeless… she remembers, and what she sees is beautiful because its a call from God, for God… so Hannah musters up her courage, stands up, tilts herself toward Eli, and raises her glass toward the light of God… Eli at last recognizes the truth, as we all do when we look at people and situations through the light of Christ, and affirms Hannah for her call, all she is and blesses all she will become. With renewed faithfulness to her call she goes back to Kenny and Penny and the brood of kids who are not hers- and in due time she has a son. But here's where the story takes on an amazing twist. Hannah takes her son- her fruit of her call- the thing that in everyone elses eyes made her valuable- the thing that gave her worth in society's eyes- that would allow her pride, standing in her own family- and she brings him back to the temple as an offering to God! This seems unthinkable to me! How do you leave your just weaned child- the baby you have prayed and hoped for; your heart's desire and GIVE IT to the Lord? And if that isn't enough, as she leaves her son with old Eli and walks back to her home with her arms empty- her heart is full, and her prayer begins, "I rejoice!" "God you have given me what I asked for and shown that you are God- I rejoice! You told me I was called to have a son and I had one- I rejoice! Those who called me worthless see worthless no more- I rejoice!" What??? She was going back without her son! She had to be grieving the child she had pleaded for her whole life- Yet she rejoiced! Here is where I'll ask my final question- Have you ever been Hannah? Has your call ever meant giving back to God exactly you prayed for? Have you hoped, longed for something, only to leave it at the alter? And rejoice!? Many times, the things we hope for and pray for and work for... when they finally arrive, we get the idea that they somehow belong to us, when in reality nothing belongs to us, Nothing. Everything we have or ever will have belongs to God. We want to hold onto things; claim then as our own… but the things we’re called to have, even to birth, belong to God, because you and I belong to God. Our lives, our possessions, our gifts, our call… our very breath… Hannah rejoiced- she learned something that many of us never do... to trust God fully, with her whole heart. She had left the most valued part of herself with the one who gives all things value. She trusted her son with the God who sent God's Son to us... she answered the call of God on her life, which was to give the best of her life... and once the best was placed in the hands of God, she went away with her raised glass in her hands… rejoicing!
Can we trust God enough to live out our call; to give the best part of ourselves to the one who gave us life. When we put the very things we think make us who we are into God's hands and trust God to do the rest, we may think we'll walk away with empty arms- but our hearts will be full- raised glass in hand, we rejoice!
May be difficult to stand and affirm our call… And most of the time we think in terms of what's wrong with us when it comes to giving to God- We still see the Penny, or Kenny, or Judgy Eli- or maybe we have a gift, but we need to improve that gift so we can be acceptable to God. But if you notice, Hannah gave Samuel to the Lord when he was still a child- not yet formed- not polished or improved or "ready." She trusted God to do all of that. Her job was simply to present her best.